Who Said the Revolution Will Not be Televised?

12 05 2011

No, I’m kidding. It’s not so much the revolution per se, but me talking about sperm on Chinese national television. How did I find myself in such a ridiculous situation? Well like most good stories, I met a girl at a bar. I guess we talked about a lot of random things in that time there, and after exchanging some contact information, she got in touch with me a few days afterwards telling me she was a producer for this talk show on CCTV. Crossover is a nationally televised talk show on CCTV English, and I had somehow talked my way into being invited as one of two guests for a taping.

Elena, dearest of personal assistants.

However, the topic of the episode wasn’t one in which I was particularly…well versed in. Recently, there has been a large spike in sperm donation here in china, sparking a pretty sizable debate here. To go on record, I’ve never donated myself…nor do I know of anyone who has. And I’m certainly no expert in anything health related (in fact, recent jokes about my hypochondriac tendencies and over reliance on Web MD would suggest just the opposite). I guess I really just wanted to be on TV. So I did some serious wikipedia-ing, so as not to look like a complete jackass, and supplemented that with old notes I took in that one Bioethics and Law class I had back in junior year. Anyway, the link to the taping is below.

Don’t laugh too hard

A few observations from the experience: I have a habit of running my hands through my hair when nervous, so considering, I’m quite proud of myself for not doing so once. I understood the lady across from me even less than you did. Saying ‘woOomb donation’ multiple times doesn’t make it any more right, or catchy. Anyway, its more silly than anything, but I’ve been asked back for a few more episodes in the near future.

Tune in next time for a detailed account of visits from Elena, adventures in Hangzhou, and a collection of my short stories entitled “Life Under the Banyan Tree”.




6 responses

12 05 2011

Phil, this is awesome! For somebody with “no personal experience,” you seem to know quite a bit… Did you have to do much research before going or did you do it on the fly?

If they need somebody to talk about rural China’s special foods, let them know that I’m well qualified. Just say I need a round trip ticket to Beijing and that I’ll accept a pound of cheese as payment.

15 06 2011

filip. what. the. fuck.

15 06 2011

seriously, i can’t believe it

15 06 2011

How did I not hear about this? Also, coincidentally, I also run my hands through your hair when I get nervous

15 06 2011

Also, your English was soooo much better than hers

15 06 2011

Oh is that what MRI stands for! Sorry, I’m watching this and like live commenting. This is so rad Phil

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